Dr. Wendy Mogel’s presentation

Dr. Wendy Mogel’s presentation to parents at High Meadows School last Wednesday was wonderful. When she concluded her talk, I looked at my watch, so surprised that the evening was over! I could have listened to her for three hours. Below are paraphrased points she made:

– children’s differences are not deficiencies

– let your child be a little unhappy, wet, and cold — one day he’ll go to college, and if he’s used to being rescued from everything, he’ll have a very tough time

– parents are so worried about their child getting into college, but what about your child being equipped to stay there? will she possess the life skills necessary to survive disappointments, hard choices, peer pressure, total independence, etc.?

– step back — if you’re too close to your child, you can’t see all of him

– kids want adults who are not multitasking — put down whatever you’re holding, look at your child, and listen to her

– don’t hang out with parents who make you feel bad about your parenting

– be a consultant… listen to your child talk, and when you’re about to make a helpful suggestion, STOP and listen more… and when you want to make that helpful suggestion, STOP and listen for a sentence that ends in a question… and when that question comes, respond with “Have you been in a situation like this before?” or “What are you considering?” or “What’s your plan?”

– don’t forecast your child’s future when one thing happens, just love her up

– when you’re inundated by breaking news about war/Ebola/economic matters you can’t control, don’t seek to control what class your child is in or the friends he’s choosing

– don’t rescue your child from a crabby teacher/coach/director — your child will have a crabby boss one day, and she’ll be better able to handle the challenges involved in such a situation

– instead of firing off an angry email to a teacher/coach/director/parent, sleep on it

– after a tightly scheduled day and evening of activities during which your child is judged/watched/graded, he is tired — put him to bed

– read The Onion to regain perspective (but don’t read it around your child)

Dr. Mogel shared that for more of these tips, parents should check out her “Overparenting Anonymous 26-step Program” at http://www.wendymogel.com/articles/item/overparenting_anonymous/

And if you haven’t read The Blessing of a Skinned Kneedo yourself a wonderful favor and order it today. Of course, there is no parenting book that you’ll love 100% because not everything will fit with your family’s values. This book, though, is pretty great.



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